10 Steps to Manage Your Anger

Anger is the legacy of evolution. It is essential to fight against adversities and all that puts our interest at risk. However, it has more and more negative effects not only for the people around us but also for ourselves. Stress is not the only factor that destructively affects our body and it’s not the only thing we need to learn how to function with (I’ve written about it here). When we lose control over stress, we fly into a rage and don’t have much influence on our reactions. Then, we happen to say words and make decisions which we later regret.

 

What is anger?

First of all, it’s worth understanding that anger is a defense mechanism, a weapon of our ancestors. They needed it to win with stronger predators and to be able to fight for their lives. Anger itself is not a negative feeling, but the way in which it is expressed determines its destructive nature. When we express anger, we often hurt others badly, but by suppressing it, we hurt ourselves. The best way is to “transform” anger into positive energy. An exhausting workout is best for me.

 

How to overcome anger?

• Be aware of the growing anger, learn to identify it and find the cause of this feeling. Think about what you feel and what the symptoms of this anger are.  
• Withdraw from the situation that makes you angry.
• Realize that you won’t solve the problem now and repeat a sentence that can calm you down, e.g.: “I’ll wait until my emotions cool down and then I’ll review the problem again.”
• Calm down, breathe calmly and focus your attention on something pleasant.
• When you’ve cooled out, think how anger has affected you. Did you feel good about it?
• Next time, don’t let the negative emotions overpower you. Replace malicious remarks with a sincere conversation about what happened and try to explain the misunderstanding with another person.  
• If a situation repeats and keeps getting you into a bad mood, talk about it with someone impartial who you can trust. It may turn out that you’ve been wrong.
• You are the one anger hurts the most. Don’t let it destroy you. Ignore it and move forward instead of dwelling on old matters.
• Trust your inner power to overcome difficulties.
• Enjoy life, give your love to the world and appreciate every single day!

 

You can practise it, too ?

• Act mature in times of anger – instead of shouting, talk honestly and replace angry expressions on your face with open body language
• If there’s an argument, focus on a specific, current problem – don’t talk about old misunderstandings.
• If you understand your mistake – admit it and apologize.

Negative emotions ruin you and the relationship with your loved ones. It’s a waste of time to get angry ? Love yourself and others. It brings GREAT joy ?.