Hate begins at home…

HATE – where does it come from?

Today I would like to share a few words with you on the phenomenon that concerns almost 50% of Internet users, and the report conducted by IQS for Global Dignity Poland says that children are very often the victims and the authors of hate speech. According to a survey from 2017 presented by the Polish Children’s Ombudsman, every third teenageer fell victim to online hate, and every fifth of them used hate speech towards others…

The origin of the phenomenon is complex and not obvious. See for yourself.



These are hostile actions that are meant to harm or ridicule the addressee (person, company, group, association, etc.). This phenomenon is most often found online.


HOW HATE SPEECH MANIFESTS ITSELF – data from surveys on what Internet users think

  • Actions meant to hurt or ridicule other people (51,1%).
  • Vicious entries, photos and videos (47,6%).
  • Offensive images of people and events (47,4%).
  • Spreading the language of hate (42,8%).
  • Mental and emotional abuse of others (42,7%).



There are more or less obvious reasons behind every action. Hate speech is for some people a way to deal with their own frustrations, but why do they hurt others? In sport we would say that it it’s not fair play!


Why is somebody’s better feeling based on hating others?

It’s often a way to give vent to strong negative emotions.  

To często możliwość upustu swoich silnych negatywnych emocji,

  • The text of an article causes irritation in the hater so his post might be a vent,  
  • The feeling of impunity – hidden behind a screen, haters remain anonymous (or so they think),
  • The target of hate speech are often ethnic minorities or social groups and the purpose is to reinforce stereotypes and prejudices.
  • A way to spend free time.



There are people who don’t care about hate speech because they are psychologically strong, they have high self-esteem and don’t feel the need to fight someone they can’t even see. But there are also others who are weaker or at a bad time in their life and hate speech for them is extremely destructive and unfortunately may even lead to terrible situations. Hate speech begins from an early age, we can even see it in kindergartens or schools.


Why should we fight hate speech?

  • it lowers self-esteem,
  • it causes helplessness, anger, sadness, anxiety,
  • the person who is the object of hate speech starts to believe what he/she can read or hear,
  • it leads to loss of faith in what the object of hate does,
  • the person who is the object of hate speech is often stressed out and suffers from sleeplessness,
  • they are also afraid of more criticism and tend to become isolated,
  • hate speech leads to neurosis and depression, including suicidal thoughts.





Jealousy and the need for revenge mainly result from the fact that some people succeeded in life and the hater has failed. That’s why hate speech may be directed towards a friend who’s been promoted or a friend from university who got a better grade or a better job. A sense of injustice and harm pushes the hater to become mean instead of becoming motivated to work harder.

The conditions comprise 3 parts: cognitive, emotional and behavioral. Jealousy can be positive and can motivate to achieve what another person has got. Envy is always negative as it makes you want to deprive others of their merit. If a hater is not happy with his/her success, he/she will do anything to deprive others of that joy.

Haters also love to have the attention of other people!

The basis of hate speech is often stress, frustration and low self-esteem. On the other hand, being the object of hate speech leads to stress and frustration, and lowers self-esteem.  

That’s why…



  • Don’t compare yourself with others, only with yourself,
  • Determine your self-worth – no-one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something,
  • Set and achieve your goals,
  • Turn failure and mistakes into success that comes from the lessons you learn – use constructive feedback,
  • Celebrate small successes every day,
  • Try to have a positive attitude,
  • Stay true to yourself.


Remember that the comments left online are the result of internal dialogue. There are conversations in the online world that would never have happened in real life.

The youngest ones get involved in hate speech (at schools or even in kindergartens), that’s why  it’s so important to educate, talk and show kids that we should treat other people just as we would like to be treated and it doesn’t matter if we mean the real world or the virtual one. There will be more on that topic soon.

Stay tuned. Make LOVE not HATE.


And what is your opinion on hate speech? The problem has been omnipresent in the media recently, huge companies and social media services like Twitter or Facebook are looking for ways to fight this phenomenon. But where is the root of it all?



  1. Grzesiak M. Psychologia hejtu, czyli jak radzić sobie z krytyką w życiu osobistym i zawodowy. Warszawa: Starway Institute, 2017.
  2. SWPS Uniwersytet Humanistyczno-Społeczny. NOWE IMIĘ NIENAWIŚCI: HEJT. Online:  https://www.swps.pl/centrum-prasowe/archiwum-centrum-prasowego/279-komentarz-ekspercki/3840-nowe-imie-nienawisci-hejt
  3. Rzecznik Praw Dziecka. Czy hejt jest rozrywką? Wyniki badania pod patronatem RPD. Online: http://brpd.gov.pl/aktualnosci/czy-hejt-jest-rozrywka-wyniki-badania-pod-patronatem-rpd

Anna Lewandowska

Athlete and nutrition specialist. Multiple medalist of the national in traditional karate in European, and World Championships. Author of workout plans and books about healthy lifestyle that everyday helps her motivate over a million of people to change to a healthier lifestyle.

Founder of Healthy Plan by Ann, Diet & Training by Ann. CEO of Foods by Ann. Co-founder of Baby by Ann.

Wife of footballer Robert Lewandowski, captain of Poland's national football team and Bayern Munich player. Read more »

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