THE ROAD TO HEALTH: The 5 Most Common Mistakes We Make in Weight Loss According to a Psychodietician. K. Gruszecka

If you have the impression that you have been on a “diet” all your life, and your dream result is getting farther away than ever, this article is for you! It all starts in your head. Nutrition and training are extremely important, but supportive thinking is integral to success. Learn these techniques and once you’ve introduced them, you will never be “on a diet” again.

Do you have the nutritional awareness worthy of a university lecturer? You know more about healthy eating than many dietitians do, and yet you still fail to achieve your dream body?

Do you feel constantly frustrated and feel like you are starting all over again and again? Do you have only negative associations with the word diet? Does it mean an unpleasant period, sacrifices and denying yourself everything that gives you pleasure?

I will show you that it doesn’t have to be this way.

 

I have collected the most common mistakes I come across in the psycho-nutritionist’s office. What for? So that you know which daily habits can make your life more difficult. And most of all – so that you never have to be “on a diet” again. Learn about the behaviors that, instead of supporting you in your pursuit of your dream result, actually distract you from your goal.

 

1. DICHOTOMOUS THINKING

What does this complicated name stand for? This is called black and white thinking. And yet there is a whole range of shades between these two colors! Just like in our lives.

Where does this all-or-nothing thinking lead us…? It’s a straight road to failure.

 

Let’s study the following example:

• You follow a nutritious diet and exercise every day. Then comes the weekend / birthday / meeting with friends, or you just feel a bit worse, and what happens? You give up your diet. You start to eat snacks that are not on your daily menu (sweets, crisps, etc.)
• And what about physical activity? After all, there’s no use in doing workouts if your diet is ruined!
• And the vicious circle begins. You wait until the first day of the month, you wait for Monday, etc. You feel frustrated that you have to start over again. Instead of getting closer to your goal, you are farther and farther away from it.

 

 

WHAT TO DO? Change your thinking!

Don’t divide your life into a period of diet and carnival in which you do what you want. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Try to realize that it’s not not only those plans that are100% complete count! Black and white thinking builds up unnecessary stress. And these days you really don’t need any extra stress.

Appreciate yourself. Start by appreciating your successes. Every evening, write down 3 things that you did well. These can be minor successes, e.g. refusing a piece of cake at work, going for a longer walk with the dog than usual, or half a teaspoon of sugar less in your tea.

Don’t focus on failures, start appreciating successes, even the smallest ones!

 

Have a look at this example:

• You haven’t exercised much so far, and at the weekend you suddenly decide to start training every day starting from Monday.
• New Year, new resolutions. You are motivated. After all, you want to lose weight so much. 
• On Monday your plan is complete in 100%, on Tuesday and Wednesday, too. On Thursday your child gets sick and you aren’t able to do the training. On Friday, your colleague at work celebrates her birthday and you have a piece of cake because you didn’t exercise yesterday anyway. At the weekend, you go away with the whole family and you want to avoid all the mess connected with taking your sports shoes and doing your workout. Your plan is ruined. Failure again. You feel frustrated. You will have to start over again.
• STOP. What failure? After all, your exercise plan so far has been based solely on carrying shopping bags to the second floor, and this week you’ve managed to do a workout. Three times ? On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday! Even though you have children, you work, do the shopping and take care of the house. It is a great success! 

Remember: changing the ratio of “healthy” to “unhealthy” is already a reason to be happy! And we often forget about it. Start appreciating even the smallest achievements. You move forward step by step!  Forget about failures for a moment. Think about what you’ve managed to do. Be proud of yourself!

 

 

2. OTHER-DIRECTEDNESS

Which means…? Seeing your failures outside of yourself. Shifting responsibility on external factors. An example? 

• I couldn’t go out for a run because it was raining.
• I would buy a gym pass, but it’s too expensive. 
• I would go on a diet, but I have a party or a meeting with friends every weekend. 
• I wouldn’t eat so many sweets, but my kids always need to have chocolate at home. 

Other-directedness is about attributing your failures or mistakes to other people and external factors. Those who are other-directed find it difficult to see their own influence. They think: “nothing depends on me”, “I will not succeed anyway, because of the weather, because there is no time, because it’s too expensive, because it’s too far, etc.”’

 

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? Ask yourself one simple question: what is the thing that depends on you? And focus on it!

Sometimes one small thing that’s doable will be better than an ambitious plan which is beyond our reach. You can always find lots of excuses. So change the direction of your thinking. Start looking for solutions! Such thinking will support you on the way to your goal.

 

Example:

You’ve put on 2 kilos in a year. Not much, but you can’t stop thinking about this difference. You are well aware of the problem. Sweets! But there’s nothing you can do. At work, there is a candy bowl on your desk that you really can’t get rid of. After all, it is there specifically for customers. But you can’t say no when you look at it all day long. Then you come. There is a jar of Nutella in the cupboard. There is nothing you can do, after all, you can’t deprive your kids of this pleasure. STOP.

Does such thinking bring you closer to your goal? Not much. ZAsk yourself this question: is there something you could do? It’s true there are some things we can’t change. You can’t treat your customers to carrots, and your kids probably won’t be happy when you give them an apple instead of chocolate. Focus your thinking on finding solutions. Think outside the box. 

• Place a bowl of nuts and dried fruit on your desk. It’s always a better solution than ready-made candies! 
• What about the kids at home? Your children won’t accept an apple for dessert. Try to make your own chocolate cream! Just blend a soft avocado, a ripe banana, a handful of hazelnuts, a spoonful of real cocoa (optionally carob) and a little honey. This dessert will be safe for your shape and, above all, much healthier for your children!
• The gym is too far and the pass is too expensive? Look for other solutions. How about going outside to the park? What if the weather is bad? Try to exercise at home. You don’t know how? An app with training programs will help you.

Don’t look for excuses, look for solutions. And you will see how much depends on you!

 

 

3. LACK OF FLEXIBILITY

One of the features employers always look for is flexibility. As it turns out, it is useful not only in professional life.  A very common mistake made by people who are trying to lose weight is not having plan B. 

Example: Our resolutions. Eat healthier, exercise every day, get enough sleep. It’s a plan that sounds really great.

However, let’s face it. This plan will be possible only when we feel full of energy, when our family is healthy, there isn’t too much stress at work and no time-consuming emergency takes place.

We all know what it looks like in real life. It’s not always the way we would like it to be. An unexpected situation arises and we quickly forget about all our resolutions. And what is the reason? No plan B.

 

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? 

Try to make your planning more flexible.

At the very beginning, your level of motivation is high, you are full of energy, ready to follow the resolutions. Plan A will work here. However, to achieve success from the very beginning, it is a good idea to prepare yourself for the bad times. Jwe are women – our hormones can take their toll and our well-being will not always be at the highest level. Life can also surprise you. 

Get ready for any circumstance. Create the MY PATH TO SUCCESS chart, in which you write down two versions of your plans. Plan A and Plan B. Plan B may not make you lose weight, but at least it will save you from gaining weight! And as soon as the situation stabilizes, you can return to the most effective plan A.

 

A sample chart MY PATH TO SUCCESS:

My path to success
Plan A	Plan B
I cook the meals myself, pack them in containers and take them to work every day	Na gorsze dni odgrzewam sobie gotowe obiady przyrządzone i zamrożone wcześniej, korzystam z restauracji wybierając zdrowsze alternatywy, w sklepie kupuję zdrowe przekąski na szybko (orzechy, owoce suszone, soki warzywne lub warzywno-owocowe)
I go to the gym 3 times a week, I go jogging twice a week, I go to the swimming pool with the kids once a week	I don’t feel well and I don’t have that much time so I will do a little less – I will go to the gym only once, I will do a short workout at home (e.g. tabata – it’s only 4 minutes!), I will take the kids for a longer walk.
I go to sleep at 11:00 p.m. at the latest, I sleep 8 hours a day	And when I am overwhelmed by work and chores, I go to bed a little later, but I make sure that the minimum amount of sleep is not fewer than 6 hours. And as soon as I can, I take an afternoon nap of 15 minutes for quick regeneration.
I don’t have any meetings, no one will tempt me with crisps or sweets. If I want something sweet, I’ll bake healthy coconut cookies.	This weekend, I have my friend’s birthday and a business party in the restaurant. Although they don’t serve the food that I eat every day, I am not going to break all possible limits. In the restaurant, apart from the main course, I will only choose one of the three: starter, dessert or alcohol. Depending on what I feel like. I will take a healthy cake with me to my friend. She will be glad that I baked something myself, I will be sure that I am eating a delicious dessert that is safe for my body at the same time.

 

 

4. EXTERNAL MOTIVATION

We have two types of motivation – external and internal. The former often drowns out the latter, which should come from ourselves. What happens then? Instead of getting closer to the goal, we start to get away from it.

Example:

• I need to lose weight because all the clothes are too small.
• I have to lose weight because the doctor says I have bad test results.
• I need to lose weight because my children draw me as a round ball during kindergarten classes.
• I have to lose weight, because in my work good looks are very welcome.
• I need to lose weight because my husband keeps reminding me that I looked much thinner before marriage.

First of all, it has nothing to do with positive motivation. Secondly, it comes from outside, not from ourselves. Thirdly, our mind doesn’t like the word ‘must’ (the phenomenon of psychological reactance). The result? Our resolutions are doomed to fail. For example – when our husband upsets us, it is highly probable that we will eat a whole bar of chocolate in hiding.

 

WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

Look for intrinsic motivation. Don’t listen to others. Concentrate only on yourself for a moment. Ask yourself: why do I want to do this? List the benefits (be specific!) that you will achieve by following your plans. 

Example:

• I want to lead a healthy lifestyle because I want to get rid of migraines, digestive problems and constipation.
• I want to lead a healthy lifestyle, because I dream of having sex not only with the lights off.
• I want to lead a healthy lifestyle not to be out of breath when I climb the stairs.
• I want to lead a healthy lifestyle because I want to be a role model for my children.

 

5. FEELING FRUSTRATED AT THE VERY WORD “DIET”

The belief that a healthy lifestyle means self-sacrifice does not help. Why? Because you will always feel that something is being taken away from you. And our mind doesn’t like it very much! If you are going on a diet and counting down the days to its end from the very beginning, it is very likely that you will quickly go back to your favorite snacks. What will happen then? The yoyo effect. Diet, then the so-called carnival, then diet and carnival again. It is very easy to fall into a vicious circle from which it is difficult to get out.

 

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? Change your… attitude! 🙂 How? See for yourself that a healthy diet does not necessarily mean sacrifice. 

In our hectic times, we can rarely afford to have fun in the kitchen. To save time, we prepare the same, proven dishes for a long time. Effect? We quickly get bored with the diet. Add variety to your meals. It is a good idea to review recipes on a daily basis to avoid routine. 

You will find them every month in our culinary section! Also, ask your friends about their favorite fit recipes. I’m sure each of them has some! It is not true that when you are on a diet you have to deny yourself everything. 

Have a little pleasure from time to time. Especially when the weather is bad. When preparing your dessert, choose healthy substitutes. Instead of sugar, use xylitol (birch sugar), replace cow’s milk with coconut drink, and cocoa with carob. Thus, you will prepare a dessert that is healthy and gives you great pleasure!

 

 

Diet shouldn’t limit your social life. Nowadays, you can choose something healthy in every restaurant. When meeting friends, you don’t have to sit with a glass of water and a lettuce leaf on your plate. Just look for healthier alternatives. Red wine will be a better choice for your figure than a drink with a carbonated beverage. Are you the host? Instead of buying crisps, make popcorn (with coconut oil and Himalayan salt). Never let “dieting” adversely affect your social life.

Remember – the most effective diet is one that you are able to follow. It should not exclude small pleasures for the sake of your own sanity. What should you do to avoid their negative effect on your body? Introduce the 90/10 rule. What is it about? 90% of your diet should be based on healthy, least processed foods. Leave 10% for small pleasures. How can you calculate this? 

If you eat 4 meals a day, you eat 28 meals a week. Sometimes a little more at the weekend, which is an average of 30 meals a week. 10% of this is 3 meals, which may include something “outside” of the daily fit menu. Depending on your health, of course. The important thing in this principle is that you eat these less healthy meals… without remorse ?

 

Bibliography:

1. Baumeister R. Utrata kontroli. Jak i dlaczego tracimy zdolność samoregulacji. PARPA, Warszawa 2000.
2. Beck JS. The Beck Diet Solution: Train your brain to think like a thin person. Hachette UK. 2012
3. Gruszecka K. Psychodietetyka, czyli jak wyjść z błędnego koła odchudzania. Wydawnictwo Sensus, 2020.
4. Pietrzykowska E, Wierusz-Wysocka B. 2008; Psychologiczne aspekty nadwagi, otyłości i odchudzania się. Pol. Merk. Lek, 24(143), 472-476.
5. Stroebe W. 2008; Dieting, overweight, and obesity: Self-regulation in a food-rich environment. American Psychological Association.

Karolina Gruszecka

Dietician

Master of Dietetics, a graduate of psychodietetics, a PhD student at Collegium Medicum in Bydgoszcz, co-owner of Elite Bydgoszcz (Dietetics, Coaching and Individual Training Center). She takes part in Polish and foreign conferences, appears on TV shows, and shares her knowledge and experience not only with patients, training participants or university students, but also on the Internet via her Facebook, Instagram and YouTube accounts. Her book "Psychodietetics, or how to get out of the vicious cycle of dieting" was hailed a bestseller after just 7 days on the market.